


Postage Due

by Jantique



Category: NCIS
Genre: Christmas, Gen, Gibbs has the solution (of course!), Hello-Ziva is JEWISH!, Humor, Puns & Word Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-07
Updated: 2012-12-07
Packaged: 2017-11-20 12:36:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/585490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jantique/pseuds/Jantique
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's December, time for mistletoe, garlands--and postage stamps. Tony is insensitive; Ziva is not amused. Fortunately, Gibbs makes all right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Postage Due

**Author's Note:**

> VERY IMPORTANT: For this joke to work, you need to remember the old days, when you had actually LICK the postage stamp with your tongue to get it to adhere to the envelope. You all remember? Good! Proceed.

Tony DiNozzo came into the NCIS bullpen, shedding his heavy coat as he went. He shook his head. "The Post Office in December is a madhouse! I had to wait in line like, _forever_ , to get my packages mailed. And Ziva, I didn't forget to get you your stamps." He tossed her a small cardboard square.

"Thank you, Tony," Ziva said with relief. "I really appreciate--" She stopped and looked at the cardboard folder, then opened it to gaze with distaste at the stamps inside.

"Tony, these are _Christmas_ stamps!"

He smiled. "Yeah, festive!"

Speaking slowly, as to a not-overly-bright child, she said, "Tony, I am Jewish. I do not celebrate Christmas. Why would I want Christmas stamps?"

"Oh. Oops! My bad. And you wanted to mail out your Hanukkah cards?" He left the guttural sound out of "Hanukkah".

She shook her head. "No, tonight I need to mail bills. But--"

Tony smiled. Saved by the bill. "Hey, no fault, no foul, then, right?"

"What?" Ziva shook her head, confused.

"Zee-vah! It doesn't matter what stamp you put on your bills. Trust me, the credit card company is not going to look!"

She scowled. "It is the principle of the thing."

Tim had a policy of _never_ getting between Tony and Ziva, but he had had enough, and butted in.

"Tony, don't you think you're being a little--no, a _lot_ \--insensitive?"

Tony threw up his hands. Sheesh, do a favor for someone and look where it got you! "Okay, Ziva, first thing tomorrow morning, I'll go back to the Post Office and get you some plain American stamps. Okay?"

She shook her head unhappily. "No, these bills need to go out tonight."

Tony felt a presence behind him and mentally prepared for what he knew was coming.

 _Thwack_!

 "Sorry, Boss! Thank you, Boss!"

Gibbs delivered his verdict. "DiNozzo, just once in your life, think about other people and their needs, instead of flirting with the cute clerk behind the counter!"

"Hey, how'd you know I--" He wisely shut up.

"And you, David," his lips twitched in what absolutely _was not_ a smile, "if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!"

 

END

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I heard this joke from my father, who swears it was a true story in one form or another. So, thanks, Dad!


End file.
